JARED (Lane Brothers Book 4) Read online

  Weeks?

  What the hell is the government giving to its soldiers to speed up recovery?

  I feel another, stronger languor settle over me minutes later. Whatever it is, this stuff is good, because no sooner do I feel the peaceful slide of a sedative than every ache deep in my bones disappears.

  Nothing hurts anymore. Not one bruise, rib, or cut on me twinges in pain as the drugs start taking effect, and I fall asleep again with a smile I wish would reach my lips.

  ***

  Jared

  “She’s out.”

  I turn to Nurse Betty and give her the chin, letting her know I want her out without saying a word as I continue to sit beside the bed, holding my baby’s hand.

  The idiot leaves with a few muttered expletives beneath her breath and I make a mental note to have Ma talk to her before I let Trace ring her neck.

  I’m about to turn to Miah and hash things out again when the door bursts open and my favourite little person comes barrelling towards me like hell on two stubby little legs. I’m barely able to turn properly before he’s launching himself at me and falling into my arms with a whoop! and a cheeky grin.

  “You’s was ‘posed to wead me a stowy lass nights Unca Jawed.” Josh complains loudly.

  Oh hell. This kid is the apple of my eye and smart enough to remember every promise made so I feel like all kinds of guilty when he widens his little eyes at me, waiting on an explanation.

  “I’m so sorry little man. I was ganna but I had to go to the hospital because your Aunt Paulie was there.” I murmur, ruffling his hair before hugging him close and taking in the sweet baby scent that still lingers on his skin.

  Pretty soon he’s going to be all grown up and too big for his boots to let me do this, but for just this minute I inhale his innocence and take comfort in the little arms that wrap around me and give me a semblance of peace.

  “Whats happen to hew?” he asks in a whisper, pushing away to look at Paulie with big eyes and an expression of awe.

  Josh is a typical little boy and he’s fascinated with injuries for some reason so I fully understand the look on his face when he gets a load of Paulie’s face and his mouth rounds in a big oh.

  “She felled down and gots huwted?”

  Miah’s scowling and shaking his head at me like a lunatic as Josh scrambles down from my arms and creeps closer to the bed, his chubby little hand poking at one of her fingers the way you’d hesitantly poke at a dead bug.

  “Yeah little man, she uh, fell down and hurt herself and she had to go to the doctor to make it better.” I answer softly, going down on my knees beside him as he gently wraps his little fingers around one of her hands and inspects the bruise caused by the IV line.

  Miah meanwhile is looking on in fascination as Josh picks up Paulie’s hand inspects it seriously, his little brow furrowed in concentration, and kisses it with a wet, slobbery smack before turning to grin at me.

  “Dare! Ganny says kisses makes it aw bettew. I make Pawie aw bettew Unca Jawed.”

  His innocent glee and the smile her throws me before abandoning me for Miah is all boyish charm and the knowledge that he just did something super nice. Even if it is for a girl, who isn’t his beloved grandma .

  It makes my chest ache and I find myself wiping at my eyes before rising and giving him a smile of gratitude.

  “Thanks little man, I’m sure that kiss is gonna make her all better.”

  “Uhuh! And I have Spun Bob ban’aids too! That wow makes her bettew fastest Unca Jawed! Can we go gettem? Pwease?” he asks Miah, clapping his hands in glee at the thought of playing doctor with a real live patient as opposed to his old grandpa who moves around about as much as the kid does.

  “Sure little guy. Why don’t you go see grandma and tell her that your Aunt Paulie needs your super healing Sponge Bob band aids. She’ll know just where they are.” Miah grins, stealing a kiss before the kid can wiggle free and start running for the door.

  “Oh boyoboy! I awso tow ganny Pawie need a cookie to make hew aw bettew. Be wight back!”

  Miah and I are both grinning like idiots by the time I hear ma giggling outside the door and the excited chatter of a little boy who knows he just conned his grandma into a free cookie before lunch.

  “God I love that kid.” Miah laughs, shaking his head as we both turn to look down at Paulie and the hand with a big wet patch glistening on the smooth skin.

  “Me too. I wish she was awake while he did that. She’s get a real kick out of having a kid nursing her back to health.”

  Miah sighs and gives me a mock scowl.

  “You need to make your own kids and leave that boy to me.”

  “Jealous?” I tease, chuckling when he slaps my head and gives me a shove.

  “Hell yes. If he’s not follow ma or pop around he’s searching for his Great and Mighty Unca Jared. If I didn’t know better I’d swear you bribe him with those cookies he loves so much.” He gripes.

  It’s hog wash and he knows it. Josh and I have had a special bond since the first time I laid eyes on the little hellion and no matter what Miah or the other saps do, I am his number one Uncle.

  Spending time with that kid is about the only thing in the world that’s kept me sane while I struggled wth my feelings for Paulie and I love him like his my own. That will never change no matter how many kids I have in the future.

  “Okay, down to business. This stuff should have her back on her feet in three days or so. Just keep an eye on her incision for infection,” Miah says, coming over to sit in the chair beside me with his elbows at his knees.

  I know what he wants to say, and while I’m not feeling it right now, I just push my annoyance aside and stay as I am, waiting for the big bad leader to have his say.

  “I’m glad you don’t hate her, man. She was wrong and we all know it, but I can’t shake the feeling that for whatever reason, she had no choice. Paulie is not a bad person, Jared. She wouldn’t have done any of this just for the hell of it.”

  I know and that’s worse in a way, because part of me does not want to know it all. If they have something on her…

  “I agree. And I’ll know soon, I will, just not yet, man. She needs time to heal and I need…”

  I stop and swallow when he claps a hand to my shoulder and squeezes firmly.

  “I know. I know what it is to love a woman, bro.”

  “I don’t—”

  “You do, you just don’t want to is all, but I’ll tell you that means absolutely nothing in the end. You love who you love and that’s the end of it, so you better find a way to forgive her. That’s what it’s going to take for you to get past this.”

  Yeah. And what should I do about the gnawing fear in my gut every time I think of Roman? I believe Trace when she says it was Roman who took those shots at Jace. I had that very same thought before she voiced it, and I know enough about Roman’s technique to see his name written all over those “careless” shots.

  But if Roman is involved and he let those bastards hurt Paulie, then brother or not, I’m kicking his ass. And then I’ll find out what’s going on with him and maybe sort it all out.

  If he is involved, more than we suspect, I’ll forgive him and move on. Somehow. But for Cupcake, Roman better hope he wasn’t anywhere near when she was hurt.

  “I forgive her,” I say, swiping my thumb over her hand in delicate sweeps as she breathes evenly.

  The wet patch where Josh kissed her has dried and I fancy that his love has penetrated her skin and is even now healing her.

  “No, you don’t. Not yet, anyway, but you will. When we love we can’t help but forgive. I just hope you do it before you lose her is all.”

  “I won’t. I won’t ever let her go.”

  I don’t give a shit if she hates me and turns out to be Cleo’s best pal. She’s mine and she’s staying where I can keep her little ass protected and safe.

  “Having a woman and having a woman are two different things, bro. Paulie has lived most of her lif
e caged and with her wings clipped. Do you really want to do to her what her family did for years?” he asks, meeting my angry gaze head-on.

  I’m so pissed to even be thinking all this right now. Miah just raises a brow, not even a little afraid of me when I’m in this mood, and I curse at him, irritated by his nosiness.

  He’s my twin, someone I love and trust with my life, but this is none of his Goddamned business and I tell him so.

  “You think I give a shit, bro? You’re my brother. We shared a womb together and I would walk through fire for you anytime, anywhere, and you know it, but I will never bullshit you. You’re too hard and unforgiving, and Paulie, no matter what she’s done, is soft and fragile, Jared. She needs love, not you keeping her locked away to teach her a lesson.”

  “You think I don’t know that, Miah? I fucking love…shit. I love her, okay? I have for a long time and it eats at me that she doesn’t love me back,” I say, dropping her hand to wipe at my face as it all comes tumbling out.

  I do. I love her so much that I feel like a piece of me is dead, like it died when I realized what she did. The pain in my chest is a gaping hole that aches with every breath just thinking about the possibility that she could be another trap sent to us to infiltrate the ranks.

  I don’t want to believe it, and Miah’s right, just knowing that a part of me doubts her means I am far from that forgiveness he thinks she needs. But it’s there all the same, and no amount of love will erase it.

  All I know is that forgiveness or not, I can’t let her go. Not knowing what her family or those assholes will do to her if they get at her again.

  What if she is a plant and she doesn’t get anything? Will they kill her and move on? Is she as expendable to them as she is precious to me, I wonder, feeling my ire rise again.

  “She does love you, bro—”

  “You don’t betray the ones you love, Miah,” I say harshly, getting up and stalking to the window. “She talked to me every day, sometimes for hours. She could have confided in me. She could have told me and let me help her.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. She could have. Hell, she should have. But you don’t know why she didn’t, and you need to find out before you pass that final judgement you’re so famous for,” he says, rising tiredly with a last glance at her. “Ask her. That’s all you have to do. Just ask and I think you may be surprised by what she has to say. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a kid to go dig out of the cookie jar and a mother to scowl at for spoiling him rotten.”

  When he leaves quietly, shutting the door and sealing us in, I turn back to the bed and stand staring down at Paulie’s peaceful face. The bruises are still stark against her pale skin, but I see an improvement already, not even an hour after that nurse gave her the shot.

  I can hardly wait for meds to do the job they were intended for, because the minute the doc gives her the all clear I’ll have her tied to me and under me.

  Whatever was done to her…

  I can’t think about it now, not yet. It won’t matter after I show her how much I love her body. I will wipe away whatever happened and give her so much pleasure, she will never remember a time when all she felt was pain.

  When I can’t stand to stare and not touch her for another moment I go over to the bed, place a gentle kiss on her puffy lips, and turn for the door, hitting my office and the servers I have there.

  This is my sanctuary and the only place I know that makes me feel in control. Here I can do anything, find anything, see anything, and what I want to find now is not only a reason to look at Cupcake with the love I feel in my heart, but one of the missing pieces of the puzzle I’ve been neglecting.

  Melissa Dobson.

  The woman has to be somewhere; she can’t just have vanished, no matter how good Roman is at his job, and I need to find her so I can at least use her as leverage when the time comes.

  Roman loves that woman.

  She’s his. I know it like I know Paulie is mine, and if it comes to it, I will use whoever I have to to draw this shit to a close. Miah is too wrapped up in his little vendetta against Nick Grimes, Jace is obsessed with Tracy and everything the woman does, and Wyatt is a lost cause what with him trying to crawl into poor Ellie at every turn, as well as be a good father to little Al.

  That leaves me to keep this ball rolling, no matter where that leads.

  With Case and Bronx on the Hayeses and my baby safe in the room next door, I have the time and the know-how to do what needs doing. I hope.

  I hit the keys and start pulling surveillance from every camera in the area, expanding my search when I come up blank after three hours of nonstop searching.

  It’s only in hour four that I finally get a hit on a female entering a gas station convenience store a few miles outside of town that I feel excitement hit me.

  It takes a while to clean up the footage because the equipment is shoddy, but another hour later I am finally looking into the face of Mel Dobson.

  She’s blonde here instead of brunette, and her eyes are a deep shade of dull brown instead of the shocking blue on her driver’s license, but it’s her. Now I just have to follow her as far as I can and hope that she pops up on footage again.

  It’s hours later when I stand and stretch with a groan and realize I haven’t looked in on Paulie once. With a curse and a lot of self-recrimination, I run for the room only to stop dead in my tracks when I find her crawling beneath the bed, scratching at the floorboards.

  It takes a few seconds for me to snap out of it, but when I get to her and pull her up and into my arms I’m horrified to see tears and her eyes closed as she rambles quietly.

  “Need to get…will prove it…need it.”

  She keeps going, only quieting down and stopping her struggles when I lay her down and come down beside her, pulling her tearstained face into my neck with a groan.

  She shudders a few times and finally burrows closer, hiccupping a few times before settling and slumping back to sleep. No fever, I think, relieved when I check her and my hand touches cool skin that seems to be healing at an accelerated rate.

  Whatever that was, it’s got her so desperate that she’s moving around in a dead sleep. I aim to find out what it is before she digs herself deeper.

  Chapter Five

  Paulette

  The smell of coffee and bacon wakes me and I crack both eyes open with a moan, almost smiling when I see that it’s morning and Jude Lane is standing above me, silently waiting for me to wake.

  I love the woman, but it’s creepy to wake up with her just staring at me as if she’s won the lottery and I’m the winning ticket.

  “Oh, you’re awake, honey. Good, good. Sit up a little if it doesn’t hurt too much and let Mama feed you. You look like you’ve lost weight, and we can’t have you wasting away,” she says, looking down at me with that same weird smile as I scoot up, only to realize that nothing hurts.

  And both of my eyes are open.

  My hands come up quickly and I’m plain shocked to feel that while my face is still a little swollen, it’s not tender at all, and my lip is completely healed.

  “Oh yes, honey, that stuff they gave you worked like a charm. Your bruises are already fading to yellow and your lip is healed over. That horrible nurse even checked your incision this morning and she says you should be stitch free by tomorrow, at the latest.”

  The breakfast tray lands on my lap and I look down to see so much food—food that I like instead of the breakfast bar my mother gave me every morning.

  “Oh, honey! Don’t you like eggs or bacon? Mama can get you something else,” she frets and I shake my head, swallowing loudly.

  “No. This is perfect. Forgive me, I just…it’s been a while since I ate more than a breakfast bar and orange juice for breakfast,” I say softly as she scowls and takes the seat beside me.

  There’s no sign of Jared yet and I feel bereft that he’s abandoned me so quickly. Not that I blame him, but still.

  I do still have feelings even though I have
no right to them.

  I pick up a piece of crisply fried bacon and take a massive bite. I almost die when the taste hits my tongue and moan in gratitude when I finish it off in less than ten chews and see that there’s a lot more where that came from.

  “Now, Paulie, I want you to know that no matter what happens, George and I will always be here for you. You’re ours now, sweetheart, and we always look after our children. Always.”

  I’m almost done with the bacon and move on to the eggs as I eye her, hoping like hell that this speech is not the result of Jared wanting me gone. I don’t think it is, not after his sweetness yesterday, but…

  “Um, thanks. That is very kind of you, and I appreciate it like you wouldn’t believe, Judy, but—”

  “Oh pooh! Call me Mama, honey. You and Jared are as good as married, anyway, so you may as well get used to the idea,” she says with a wave and a bright smile that has me choking on my own spit.

  “Well, uh, I don’t think—”

  “Ma, leave her alone. She’s not even healed fully and you’re already trying to plan the wedding and the nursery?”

  My head whips up and I just manage not to drool onto my plate when Jared walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel slung low over his hips and showing enough muscle to put me into a coma of pleasure.

  Lord have mercy, I think, blushing crimson when I realize a good few seconds have passed with me staring and they’ve both seen it.

  Jared scowls and whips around, giving me his back as he stalks into the closet with a curse. I guess he doesn’t want me looking, I think with a heavy heart, suddenly not hungry anymore as self-pity and loathing grip me.

  “Jared, honey, it’s never too early to plan these things and you know it!” she trills, patting my hand with a gentle grin that makes my nerves stand up and start buzzing.

  Wait! What? Did I just hear that conversation right? Are they talking weddings and babies and—

  “Ma. Leave her alone or I’m telling that husband of yours that you’re making a nuisance of yourself again. It’s Goddamned creepy to wake up to you staring at us while we sleep, Ma. And it’s weird that you stood here for a good ten minutes just staring at her while you waited to give her breakfast,” he yells from the closet, making me eye Judy with a little more trepidation.