THE NAUGHTY ONES: The Complete 5-Books Series Read online

“Ted, I hurled like I was getting paid to do it, all over a man and half the floor space. I think that’s worse than a sneeze,” I point out.

  “Sure, but I mean it’s still the same. I sent Benny home to recover, and once people realized he wasn’t there to contaminate the meat they came back.”

  Great, so all I need to do to save the business is disappear.

  “And what about this hot man candy Percy was gushing about?” Bill titters.

  God save me, they’re like vultures circling a fresh kill.

  “Nothing.”

  “It can’t be nothing, honey. Why I heard Luci say he’s divine and rich, to boot.”

  “So? He’s just a man and one who left me to walk through the Hyatt in a towel and humiliate myself. What’s so great about that?”

  “Honey, you both made mistakes and you are both flawed. Get over it and move on already. You’ve always held on to things so tight, Callie, that you end up strangling them before you can even enjoy them. You need to let go a little and live,” Murray trills, though I see how serious he is when he doesn’t hand gesture his words to death.

  “God, fine. I’ll call him,” I mutter just as my phone rings again, the sound of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” making me blush as his name lights up the screen.

  ***

  Dot’s disappeared, and from the sound of silence in the apartment I get the feeling she’s done it on purpose so that Jack and I can be alone to talk things through.

  I like and hate this scenario at the same time, because, well, I’m nervous. This will be our first real conversation and I have absolutely no idea what to expect after the way I’ve been ignoring him all week.

  When there’s a knock at the door I’m grateful that I haven’t eaten anything, because my stomach dips and starts churning dangerously. By the time I open the door my palms are sweaty and I have to wipe them on my sweatpants.

  “Callie.”

  He’s wearing a dark grey suit and a blue tie that does amazing things to his already amazing eyes, and it takes me a full thirty seconds to shake myself back to earth and invite him in.

  “You look a little better.”

  I wave that nonsense off. I have a mirror and two working eyes, thank you very much. And my hair hasn’t seen a brush since the need to look human has currently vanished from my life.

  “Sit down, Jack. Can I get you anything to drink?”

  He sits gingerly and raises his brow at the TV screen where I’ve paused Ghost right on Patrick’s heavenly shining face.

  “Water, thanks.”

  I go to grab two bottles and come back with a sigh when I see him studying the ultrasound picture with a goofy smile.

  “This is him?” he asks in an awe-filled voice, barely noticing the water I put at his elbow.

  “Yeah. Perfect already.”

  Jack’s face is so happy that I think I go all wet and loose down south when my heart flutters with emotion.

  “He is. Just look at that…what is that?”

  “Beats me. I’m his mom, not a freaking alien. I can’t see in there at will, and those photos aren’t exactly HD quality.”

  Jack keeps smiling and staring at the thing for long minutes before replacing it on the table and turning to me with an intent look.

  “You feeling okay to talk to me now, Cal?”

  “Don’t…don’t make me feel all guilty for needing some time to sort it all out, Jack. It was a shock, and then after the embarrassment of that night—”

  “You have nothing to feel ashamed about, baby. You’re pregnant and in need of understanding right now. Of course you got sick. Mom told me that she puked at the smell of anything and everything when she was pregnant with me. It’s normal.”

  Why couldn’t he be this sweet months ago?

  “It’s really hard to scream and yell and try to kick your balls when you’re being super nice, Jack. Not fair.”

  That makes him chuckle and I feel my own lips twitch.

  “I know. I’d be sorry but someone told me you’re a biter, and I’m no match for those teeth of yours when you’re in a fettle.”

  “Hah! You’ve been to see Gruffy, huh? How’d that work out for you?”

  My amusement dies when he smiles and can’t stop singing her praises. Now either my Gruffy has been stolen and replaced by a pod person or the old, traitorous bat is on the crack pipe.

  “She likes you?”

  “Don’t sound so shocked, Callie. I’m a likable guy.” He laughs.

  “Yeah? Maybe. I dunno. I’m undecided since I have to compare this sweet version to the total gobbler who left me alone and had me kicked out of—”

  “I got a friend of mine to hack the Net and get rid of those videos. He says he’ll keep a watch for anything that may be reloaded, but for now it’s gone,” he interrupts, making my mortification complete.

  “You saw the video? I’ll kill her for real this time or put her wrinkled ass in one of those homes.”

  Jack starts laughing at my muttered invectives, and I see once again exactly what would induce me to sleep with him so easily. The man is spectacular, in general, but with a smile on his lips and those eyes of his all bright and happy, he’s just breathtaking.

  “It wasn’t Elsa who told me about it. Freddie saw it and forwarded the link to me. Nice ass, by the way. I get why I was nuts enough to lose control and forget protection.”

  Compliments? Is he looking to marry me or something?

  “Thanks. And thank you for trying to get rid of it. It won’t work, though. Indie downloaded it and made like a bazillon copies. She’ll just put it back up and keep on going till it stays. She’s evil. It’s what she lives for.”

  “You’re hilarious, you know that? Now stop trying to keep things neutral and talk to me, Callie. Please.”

  “What’s there to say? I had a one-night stand with you and woke up alone in a hotel bed with freaking Alphonso Hitler banging the door down. He let me know that you wanted me out, and as a result I had to walk practically naked through a packed lobby. By the way, I am now personal buddies with at least seven geeks who keep putting my picture up on Facebook and telling everyone I’m the hot girlfriend. All in all, I’m feeling good. I mean, seven men think I’m a total fox,” I quip, gigging just a little.

  Jack doesn’t seem too impressed, though, and I see his eyebrow quirk before he gives me a look.

  “Fine. Sheesh, you really have met Gruffy. I was pissed at you for about a freaking month, and then I sort of realized I might be pregnant. I kept…but, whatever, turns out you and me are not sensible when we’re drunk. When I found out about the baby I panicked a little. I know what it’s like to not know who your father is, and I didn’t want that for the kid, so after a good old tantrum, I and the girls came up with a plan.”

  “You decided to start looking for a needle in a haystack?”

  “Nope. More like a freaking needle in a stack of other freaking needles,” I snort, flopping down onto the sofa with a huff. “You would not believe how many tall, grey-eyed guys move around in your circle, Jack,” I mutter, shuddering at the memories of some of the more enthusiastic candidates.

  Even hint to a guy that you’re pregnant and interested and they go nuts. What is it about pregnancy that turns them into animals?

  “You couldn’t just ask the manager at the Hyatt?”

  “Jack, this is the same guy who made me walk through the lobby in a towel and then demanded I return it before I got in the cab. He was not so forthcoming, and besides, I think I may have been a little scared about actually finding you. Percy pointed out the day that I may have been subconsciously using the search as a distraction. Damn, give a psych minor a bone and they want to eat the carcass.”

  My continued attempts at humor seem to annoy him further, and I find myself looking into grey eyes that spark with impatience.

  “You’re four months pregnant and you’ve been going this alone—”

  “Alone? Dude, you met my family already. Fo
ur sisters who are nuts, three dads, two stepmamas, and the Gruff. Trust me, I’ll never be alone in my life, not even if I move to Guatemala and start raising chickens in the freaking jungle.” I laugh.

  I currently have ten people who call me to remind me to eat, ask me about the grossest shit they’ve read in the baby books, and hound me to choose them to name my unborn child after.

  Trust me, I would drop an organ for some alone time.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You shouldn’t be working and on your feet all fucking day.”

  “And that is my life and none of your business, Jackie boy. First off, we do not like each other.”

  “What? I like you. You’re hot and funny. That’s a combo with a punch.”

  “Yeah? I think that sorta got lost in freaking translation when you not only bailed on me, but had your minion toss me out of the room before I even wiped the sleep from my eyes. You know what it’s like having to do the walk when you’re so hungover your eyes are pounding? Consider that coupled with the four hags I call sisters and you get a taste of what that morning was like for me.”

  “Jesus,” he mutters, running a hand through his slightly long black hair and pinning me with eyes that shine with regret. “I don’t remember any of it. I woke up in my apartment with a hangover from hell and sex dick, Callie. Trust me, it scared the shit out of me, too. I didn’t know who I’d slept with, her name, or even where I’d been. All I had to go on was the vague memory of toffee-colored hair and the smell of honeysuckle.”

  Dammit. Now how can I be mad at him when he probably almost dropped a ball thinking he’d banged some skank who could have given him a little going away gift, like herpes?

  I feel myself soften a little and eye him dolefully.

  “Fine. No hard feelings for what happened. I still hate you for the fat comment, though. What an ass.”

  Can you really define what sheepish looks like when the man I question is also grinning like a loon?

  “I’ll take it. Now let’s talk future goals. How do you feel about a spring wedding?”

  Chapter Nine

  Going with the Flow (Until You Crash Head-First Down a Waterfall)

  Jack

  The one thing I’ve always had in spades is confidence and determination. It’s gotten me where I am today and ensured that no matter what shit life throws at me, I can usually handle it without too much of a problem.

  How I got where I am right now, though…

  Let’s just say that for once in my life, I’m going to take the advice that my grampa Jack has given me. I’m going to just go with the freaking flow. I have no choice, so it’s not as if I’m happy about this shit, but you have a pregnant woman cleaning your clock to the tune of a black eye and a busted lip and you judge me then.

  To say that Callie Landry was not happy about my views on the need for marriage and commitment is putting it mildly. I got out of that apartment by the skin of my teeth and just barely saved my balls from winding up around her neck.

  And not in a good way, though now that I think about it, having my balls around her neck may not be a bad thing, if it means something else gets to be in her mouth.

  That thought restarts the naughty daydreams I’ve been avoiding, and by the time I’ve run the gamut of getting my mouth between her legs and seeing if that honeysuckle scent originates from the source…

  I’ve been hard for fucking days just thinking about how hot and tight she’ll be with all those hormones coursing through her.

  “Jesus. Stop already, Jack. I’m about to eat here and you’re making sex noises at the table? People are starting to stare,” Freddie growls, taking another drink.

  We’re at lunch, waiting on Woody to join us for a planning, storm-attack session that has to work before my parents snap their leashes and come raining down on both me and Callie.

  Trust me, getting a phone call in the middle of the night from Gramps because some little gossip dropped the baby bomb on Mom was not pleasant, and knowing my crazy-ass family they’ll scare the poor woman away before I’ve had a chance to tag and bag that shit.

  Knowing it was Callie under me in the vague dreams I’m still having only makes my dick harder. And knowing she’s now ripe with my seed and irrevocably joined to me has me wild with the need to not only mark my territory again, but mark her so any and all other swinging dicks will know exactly who she belongs to.

  I’m a man and men mark their shit. As far as I’m concerned, she is mine and she made that call when she let me into her body without protection and allowed me to load her full of me.

  Christ, there goes my dick again.

  “Shut up, Cage. You aren’t any better yourself. Last I hear, you were on Luci and running hard. What gives?”

  I really do not need one of my bonehead friends messing with one of the women Callie considers her sisters. She’ll blame that shit on me and be stink-eyeing me again. Right now I need sugar, not vinegar.

  “She’s got a wedding album, man. A fucking book the size of a sofa with the whole day planned out.”

  “So?”

  I see no problems there. If a guy can do a girl without making his needs and motivations clear, he can take the heat. I have never given a woman the idea that I want more, have always been very upfront and honest about my intentions. Till Callie.

  We freaking belong together.

  “So? Dude, I was thinking friends with benefits or a quick one, two maybe, but she’s got her eye on a ring.”

  “Once again, so? Look, fuck face, the woman is a keeper and you knew that the moment you looked at her. Don’t go getting cold balls now just because you’re scared of a little commitment.”

  What a dick. What I wouldn’t give to have my Callie breathing wedding bells down my neck right now. It galls me, clear to my egotistical soul, that for once in my life instead of fending off a woman and telling her the score, I’m scrambling to catch her while she flips me the bird.

  Freddie’s throat bobs with a swallow and I watch him go pale just as Woody sidles over and falls into a chair, raising his hand for the server to bring him his usual midweek drink.

  “What are we talking about, gents?”

  Woody’s green eyes are curious as I sit back and grin at Freddie, giving him the floor. One thing we all know about Brentwood Jones is that he does not cotton to treating woman with anything less than awed adoration.

  The man loves all females, of every shape, size, and race. While he’s not any less of a hound dog than the rest of us, he never, ever treats a woman without respect. I’ve met women he’s slept with and cut loose and each and every single one of them still coos over his ass and gushes with affection.

  I think Woody has a superpower that he acquired from being raised by six older sisters and a lunatic parents.

  Freddie pulls at his tie and loosens the top button of his shirt before leaning back and throwing Woody a pleading look.

  “Luci, man. She’s gone all nuts on me. We were doing great a week into our…our acquaintance, and then all of a sudden she starts eyeing the prize, man.”

  Woody’s drink arrives, along with the steak and potato I ordered earlier, and we all dig in before he desides to speak.

  “One thing, Fred. You don’t hurt her. If you can’t take the heat, you tell her that it’s you who’s fucked up and walk. Don’t string her along and make her feel like she’s too blame for your shit. I like Luci and the rest of Callie’s girls. They’re good people.”

  I took this one with me when I bearded the lion’s den and went to meet Elsa Landry and the other lunatics that make up Callie’s family. To say that Woody was right at home between all those women and the two queens who are her fathers is an understatement.

  The fool had them fawning all over his ass in seconds flat while I was left to dodge Elsa’s cane and snide set-downs before she understood that I was in this for the win.

  “I like her too, Wood, but I just started seeing her and…shit, she wants more.”


  Freddie is not one for commitment. The man has huge trust issues that none of us quite understand, even after years of friendship, but he’s not a bad guy. A flirt and a dog, but harmless.

  Most women understand who and what he is from the outset, but I saw Luci’s reaction to him in the kitchen weeks ago, and I knew she’d been hooked by the bad boy’s smile.

  There isn’t a chance in hell that she will come out of this without getting hurt, and I hate that. I like Luci, too. She’s sweet and smart and she’s in my corner.

  “Fine. Just stay away from her then. Now on to more important, pressing matters. Callie’s being a pain in the ass.”

  Woody snorts and pushes his empty plate away as the server refreshes our drinks.

  “Can you blame her? Dude, I would have nailed you in the nuts if I were her. The fact that you’re relatively unscathed thus far is a miracle.”

  “It wasn’t my fault! I would never have allowed that shit to happen to her if I’d woken up beside her. Fuck, Wood, have you seen the woman? If I’d been there the morning after, I’d have tied her to the Goddamn bed and kept her there till she agreed to be mine.”

  I know a good thing when I see it, hence my fucked-up attitude when I saw her and thought she was someone else’s.

  “Jack, you’ve steadily insulted the woman since you ‘met’ and just about let her know each and every flaw she possesses. Call me stupid, but that did not scream I want you.”

  “I get nervous around her!”

  I turn into the least suave man on earth when I really want to impress a woman. Fucking A. It galls that I have zero game when it comes to her, but I just can’t seem to help myself. When I try to pay her a compliment, it’s like my brain goes nuts and what ends up coming out of my mouth is the exact opposite of what I meant to say.

  Just yesterday I called her and wanted to tell her that I want her. What came out was more along the lines of “I always get what I want, even if it’s you.”

  Jesus.

  I got a screech and dial tone for that shit and another night of jacking off.

  “Nervous? You?” Freddie laughs, his eyes round with mockery.

  I have never been nervous or unsure of anything in my life. Call it the result of always being top dog and wanted by anyone who gets within my orbit. Can’t help that shit. My parents gave me fantastic genes to work with and I happen to work hard for everything else.